INDIA'S HOLI FESTIVAL OF COLORS

Today was Holi in India. A festival to celebrate the Harvest and the arrival of Spring and it's colors . Also an excuse for locals to drink, smoke, dance and feel up foreign girls. Northern India is very dry...NO MEAT, NO ALCOHOL, NO DRUGS. So you can imagine how a day like this will bring out India's best!

To "PLAY HOLI" means to chase anyone in sight with dry powder, colored water, water balloons, water guns. And if none of that is available, some of the meaner kids will use mud and cow shit to make their marks. I definitely got hit with the mud by these little girls who I thought were soooo cute. Then as I walked away, I realized that what I thought was a deep, rich purple color was actually MUD! Perfect example folks of The Banana in the Tailpipe.

The worst was when a group of teenage little shits put the color in my mouth!!!! To avoid swallowing it my natural reaction was to inhale what didn't land in my mouth. Into my left nostril it went. I felt it float up to my left brain where I am sure I sizzled 100 brain cells easy! Who knows what the powder is made of?! Immediately, bright, neon green colored snot started shooting from my nose! I ran to the side of the road where there was a water fountain to wash it out my mouth and nose, all the while the little shits laughing and still trying to paint me with color...sing "Happy Holi, Happy Holi!!" Praying that tomorrow I don't wake up with Indian Water Disease. Pray for me please!

Other than that I had an AMAZING Holi ;-)

It all began with these guys

Started with a sensible amount of color...

...ended with this mess

Maria in her HOLI glory

The ritual of the COLOR!

Over it!!

HAPPY HOLI!